During a halftime speech
"You guys are like a loosely held together lawn chair from the 1970's"
"I woke up this morning and had myself a dozen eggs, a 2lb steak and a beaver liver"
During an early morning Saturday practice
"You can't wake up at nine for a nine thirty practice. Half of u look like you combed your hair with a pork chop this morning"
"I think I could wrestle a bear and a gorilla and win"
During a film breakdown session
"How about every pass we throw sucks! Lets talk about that"
Describing himself learning how his new phone works
"Trying to figure out my phone, I looked like a monkey playing with a magic fox"
Describing his ability to perform in clutch situations
"I could make a free throw with a 10 lb weight hanging form my neck.. Because I'm mentally tough"
Explaining the feeling he gets when his players don't listen
"You should just throw the ball and hit me in the stomach because that's what it feels like every time I tell you to do something and u don't do it"
"I have broken open a femur and sucked the marrow out, uncooked"
"I'm going to name my first 2 kids Meadowlark and Baskerville"
and furthermore on this one, "The great thing is - they work equally well for boys or girls"
I'm sure there are more out there... Feel free to submit your own favorite
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