During a halftime speech
"You guys are like a loosely held together lawn chair from the 1970's"
"I woke up this morning and had myself a dozen eggs, a 2lb steak and a beaver liver"
During an early morning Saturday practice
"You can't wake up at nine for a nine thirty practice. Half of u look like you combed your hair with a pork chop this morning"
"I think I could wrestle a bear and a gorilla and win"
During a film breakdown session
"How about every pass we throw sucks! Lets talk about that"
Describing himself learning how his new phone works
"Trying to figure out my phone, I looked like a monkey playing with a magic fox"
Describing his ability to perform in clutch situations
"I could make a free throw with a 10 lb weight hanging form my neck.. Because I'm mentally tough"
Explaining the feeling he gets when his players don't listen
"You should just throw the ball and hit me in the stomach because that's what it feels like every time I tell you to do something and u don't do it"
"I have broken open a femur and sucked the marrow out, uncooked"
"I'm going to name my first 2 kids Meadowlark and Baskerville"
and furthermore on this one, "The great thing is - they work equally well for boys or girls"
I'm sure there are more out there... Feel free to submit your own favorite
)
)
28 comments:
Its hit me in the balls not stomach
It was hanging from my scrotum not neck, and he started shooting bowlegged
.. "just waiting to collapse"
"we're not gonna go out there and have our only black kid guard their only black kid"
after a loss
"You don't wanna see how sausage is made but man is it good"
Spring of 2001: "I'm going to put myself in a golf cocoon and this will be the summer of my golf emergence"
Fall of 2001: "I still suck"
To referee coming over to the bench for pre-game in 2006 who asked him if he was the head coach: "oh no! the captain of the Titanic is right over there. I just row the life boat"
"Sometimes it's not about the Xs and the Os, it's about the Zells and the Joes"
"It's a Lose-Lose situation. It is the same reason you don't fight girls. If you lose, you are the guy who got beat up by a girl. If you win, you're the guy who beat up a girl."
To a horrible referee (imagine that) who was being taunted by the student section:
"They are mocking you sir, they are mocking you"
"I will break the glass door of the gym with my fist, then walk on the broken glass until my feet are bloody stumps. i will give you the ball and spot you 9 points in a game to 10. I will tie one arm to my side, wear a pirate patch over my left eye and play with a parrot on my right shoulder."
-in response to a challenge of a game of one-on-one with an unnamed opponent at the OHSBCA clinic in 2006
In a staff meeting about procedures for dealing with emergencies such as a weapon in school:
"I don't know about you guys but I am going to get as far away from Mr. Bogdan as I can. We all know any disgruntled student with a gun is coming for him......he's mean."
"If we don't have school tomorrow, I am going to sit in my underwear on the living room floor, tie a towel around my neck like a bib, and eat a bucket of chicken with my hands"
"Three double cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a large coke."
-His response to "go ahead with your order" EVERY day from January 2nd to January 31st in 2009.
-100% TRUE STORY!
"No way. I'm on the road to Wellville"
-his response when the AD offered to take him to lunch on February 1, 2009
"If we don't have school tomorrow, I am going to sit in my underwear on the living room floor, tie a towel around my neck like a bib, and eat a bucket of chicken with my hands"
I've heard this too. He claims he does this to keep the chicken grease out of his chest hair. The way he described it to me was that he actually cuts a hole in the towel, almost wearing it like a towel poncho, as opposed to the less calculated move of simply tying it around his neck.
I have also personally witnessed him order a meal intended for an entire family for just himself
I can echo the last part.
Spurge is famously a sheep in wolf's clothing and while he has eaten over 1000 meals with the AD over the last 12 years, most have them have involved some version of the phrase "yeah....I'll have what he's having". I think he is too afraid to talk to waitresses, he claims the AD is "an excellent orderer"
He broke out in July of 2008 at Hog Heaven in Canton. His order was "I would like the bar-b-qued chicken". The waitress asked if he wanted the white meat or the dark meat. "I want the whole chicken." She was unaware it was even on the menu as no one had ever ordered it. The question of 'which two sides?' turned into "can I have three?".
He ate the whole thing....with his hands....in the restaurant. Only his complete demolition of the Emerald City Buffet in the MGM Hotel Las Vegas in July of 2004 even comes close.
Just want to warn all you people who are going to try to cut a towel yourself as was described above.
A person holding the towel can be cut very badly if the person cutting the towel violently misses the cut mark.
January 30th 2004 After begging/promising to serve as a midwife, Spurge exclaimed "I am going to have to boil some water, can we do this right here, shoot that baby out I will catch him" upon learning my wife's water broke at the end of a game.
Walter Sobchak
"What the hell Stu?!? .. You get out there just in time to hump his hip and foul him three times"
"Hey Joe, if you look at him a little longer b4 making that pass maybe Shultz will fall down .. or Evaporate"
Coach Spurgeon answering the obligatory "let's play football" chant from Mogadore fans with "Hey! we'll play you 7 on 7 tomorrow morning. Who is going to tackle #20?"
"I'm not a very good golfer.....but neither is Joe"
-response on Jam Session when asked by the host if he had ever beaten the AD in golf.
"That's precious."
"My Dad can dunk." ~C. Spurgeon
"Make a right at Marietta."
Last night he said the Hornets were like, "A dyslexic in a knife fight"
"Baaaaaahhhh"
From a bridge near Wytheville(pronounced wiffle), Virginia circa 1993
"If you don't call a charge we're pressing", to a referee against rootstown friday.
"thats right...no more spin move, you got nuts on your thigh"
Post a Comment